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I have never perceived myself as pretty and as I have aged, I am not any more thrilled with my looks. As a child, my ears stuck out like Dumbo, from the 1941 cartoon, popular with my young crowd. I failed to rejoice in the tiny elephant’s eventual triumph, and focused instead on the shame and horror- they put his mother in a cage because she defended him!!!- of the huge ears. Likewise, I failed to notice my beautiful big brown eyes and my head of thick, shiny hair, gifts from my movie star handsome father. Sigh.

My family lived in Phoenix, Arizona. With temperatures soaring over 100 most of the year, my hair was slicked back in a pony tail displaying my Dumbo ears in all their glory. When I was 3, my mother parted my hair down the center and braided my hair in 2 plaits flanking my ears for the first time. Because I was already me, I noticed immediately that this style camouflaged my Dumbos! This had great impact. So much so that a full 66 years later, I’m telling you the story!

When it was suggested by some friends that I put my fashionista self before the world, I decided to figure out how to make the most of my 70 year old features on camera. In assessing my face, my attention is grabbed its asymmetry and by my flabby chin. I tear my eyes away from these current day Dumbos to ask myself- how do I want to look? What do I want to communicate about myself on the first impression? How do I employ my physical form to help me achieve my life’s goal -to live an aesthetic, benevolent life – which aligns in such a lovely fashion with the purpose of my blog- to encourage my peers to live their lives in beauty and delight?

Beauty attracts- that’s why they call it “attractive.” Beauty interests. So, how does a person become beautiful in the eyes of the world?

I think of the women I consider to be beautiful. What do they all have in common for me to consider them beautiful? They are of varying ages, ethnicities, heights and weights. Their one commonality is that twinkle in the eye, what the French term- je ne sais quoi: I don’t know what; that little something; a quality that eludes description- Mona Lisa’s famous smile.

In my 40’s I had a friend whom I considered to be very, very pretty. Her hair and make-up were impeccable. Her clothing style was both tasteful and perky. I thought she was adorable. After associating with her for a couple of years, for some inexplicable reason, I saw past the grooming and nice clothes, past the sunny disposition, past my high degree of admiration for her, and really looked at her face. It was so nothing special as to be considered downright homely. I don’t believe that this viewpoint was shared by anyone else who knew her. The world was smitten by her lovely fashion sense and the illusory factor- “je ne said quoi!”

Okay, I’m perky. On a good day, I can twinkle. I was born knowing fashion. Maybe I have a shot!

Clothing I have, and fashion, I know, so my plan is to turn to the hair and beauty experts to help me. I now live in a small town in the South and resources are limited so my first action is to call on Mr. Google.


I type in “best hairstyle for an assymetrical face.” What I find makes total sense. From https://www.youbeauty.com/beauty/hair-tips-for-facial-symmetry/

“Side parts are a cure-all.Whether the asymmetry is in your nose, eyes or lips, a deep or off-center side part can instantly bring harmony to any imbalanced facial feature. The one style you’ll want to stay away from is the center part, which will call attention to any facial asymmetry.”

My current haircut is totally symmetrical. I love it because it’s quirky, it suits my personality, but I’m not sure it enhances my face. Hairstyling follows the same rules as any other type of design. The goal is to determine the shape you want to create, the beauty you want to accentuate and flaws you want to fade into the background. It’s all about moving the eye of the beholder.

After looking at about 1,000 images, I found a couple possibilities. Most of the asymmetrical styles are quite that, with one side almost shaved and the other very long. I’m thinking that I am not interested in such a radical do and just want to create enough of an angle to move the eye, but not startle. My features are less well-defined that when I was younger and I think a more radical cut would be harsh. I had a haircut recently so I’ll need to put the new do on hold, but I know where I’m going. I won’t be able to fully achieve it for probably 6 months, but I think the transition won’t be too grim. Let’s go for it!